So this thing happened

2 Jun

I went to dinner with a friend tonight

She sat across from me on her fourth wine

I was listening to a song playing in my head

blocking out whatever gossip she was droning on with

She asked me what’s new…but didn’t give me a chance to answer

I wouldn’t have told her anyway

She didn’t make me laugh, with anything she said

and I felt bad…felt as if there was a club that I’ve never been a member of

On the outside..trying to fit in…but failing miserably

She was telling me about her new BMW and its features

and I wanted to say…who really gives a fuck?

But instead I listened to the song playing in my head

I told her about a concert I went to…and she said, you’re not 20 anymore..why go to concerts?

I picked at my salad…wondering why I didn’t belong to this girl’s club

I never have

I can smile and laugh appropriately and pretend to be interested, but I’m not

I have a kid, but never a member of the fascist PTA

I love clothes and girly things, and I love being feminine and soft and smelling good

Yet, I can’t understand why I don’t fit in

I’m fairly easy going….writing and reading all the time…

I have female friends who are like me…and yet, they still have the anguish of girls who don’t know who they are

I know who I am

I figured it out along the way

Maybe it will change

But today I know

I’ve accepted who I am and what I need

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4 Responses to “So this thing happened”

  1. BFG June 3, 2010 at 2:42 pm #

    a nice proclamation! Well done, go for it!

  2. Jingle June 3, 2010 at 6:32 pm #

    keep rocking,
    have fun!

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