I can’t believe it

9 Apr

Like a quiet sigh, I have exceed 200 posts.  This was a blog I started on a lark, because my beloved D encouraged me and I’m shocked to realize I’ve continued it despite all the chaos that ensued shortly after it began.  I have discovered so many great bloggers, but I have also discovered myself. 

I do care about my readers, that I am giving all of you exactly what is on my mind without censoring.  There are portions of my life I hold for myself.  I am respectful of those satellites who revolve around my world not to include them in any overt way.  The exception has been my parents.  It started out as venting and evolved into barely a whisper about them.  During the course of my blogging, they have all but disappeared from my daughter’s and mine life.  I’m at peace with it.

I started off wanting to capture my poetry, my essays and my stories, but then I became enamored again with photography.  I’m never sure where this blog will go or what I will post on any given day.  I like the spontaneity of it all.  It makes me happy to write again, and really that’s all anyone can hope for.  Writing had become such an albatross, and now it’s a thrill again.

Occasionally I’ve addressed the emails I receive, so I will give you a brief glimpse into who cold dead heart is.  Here are the top 10 questions I’ve received.  And I do enjoy your emails, I apologize if I’m not better at responding to them in a timely manner.  I’m working on it!

1.  My daughter is a teen now.  No, she does not like that I blog about her.  No, she doesn’t read my blog.  She really could care less about my writing at all.  She’s creative enough for both of us.

2.  Mieze of my Sunday posts, Mieze’s Musings, is not in fact my cat.  He belongs to a wonderful and amazing woman who raised an even more remarkable son.  She has other cats and maybe we’ll start including them.  Mieze’s Musings is my favorite post and I look forward to it every Sunday.  My beloved D sends me a photo and I write it on the spot.  He never knows what photo I’m going to use or what I’m going to say.  Don’t get me wrong, I love cats.  It’s just I’m allergic.  There you go, I ruined it for you.

3.  Finally!  The mystery is solved!  I am cold dead hearted as a blog name because it had become my habit when asked “promise?” to respond with, “Cross my cold dead heart.”  Anyone that knows me is aware that I am quite squishy hearted.  

4.  I’m a scorpio.  Don’t hold it against me.

5.  Despite the purple hair, I am a manager.  I know, it’s scary that I am in charge of something.  My last foray into colorful hair has left me dismayed.  The blue wouldn’t come out.  Total disaster.  Yes, I will be going back to blonde for a while, sans color streaks.  Who knows how I’ll feel in a few months.

6.  I started my writing career with erotica romance novels.  In the last five years, I’ve abandoned that genre not because I lost respect for it (it’s more difficult than you can imagine), but because I worried what my daughter would think.  I still have one last novel, completely finished and edited and I can’t seem to pull the trigger on it.  Maybe someday when she has her own kids, I’ll come out of smut retirement.  In the meantime, I have all but abandoned writing except on my blog.  Someday I’ll return to it, but I’m just not in that mind space right now.

7.  My sister is four and a half years younger than me.  We really are the best of friends.  We work together and have lunch together practically every day.  We’re told we have the same voice on the telephone.  I am working on a series of recordings based on something I used to write years ago called “Two Sisters Talking.”  Look for it soon.  I can’t guarantee you can tell us apart.

8.  I am older than I’ll admit.  Let’s leave it at that.

9.  Yes, I paint and someday I might post pics of what I do on here.  I mostly paint and do art just for my walls.  If I had to choose only one thing, it would be photography.  I had put aside my love for it for many years.

10. I will probably address the rift that occurred in my family.  I’m not sure.  There was actually an intervention that was quite comical, if such a thing can be funny.  My sister said yesterday and it’s true, “God, we lead such weird lives.”  That about sums it up.

I want to thank you all my dear readers for your support, encouragement and your comments.  You have all expanded my mind and my heart.  I appreciate you all.  Keep blogging, I will be reading.

Cold Dead Hearted

45 Responses to “I can’t believe it”

  1. karmicdiva April 9, 2012 at 7:12 am #

    keep writing!

  2. glutenvygirl April 9, 2012 at 7:25 am #

    I love this! I’m interested in your earlier genre – I find this fascinating. Great post!

    PS I could tell you weren’t cold dead hearted. 😉

  3. Expat Alien April 9, 2012 at 8:16 am #

    Great post! Fun to learn more about you!

  4. mkenobi April 9, 2012 at 9:08 am #

    The show must go on!
    In one year, I have more than 200 posts published, more than 40 followers and more than 100 thousand access all-time, and I can’t believe in all that, but it’s true. We can touch the people with our tastes, words or just with pictures. Sharing is to live. That’s what the Internet is.
    Keep writing, I’ll keep reading. Thank you for sharing.

    • Cold Dead Heart April 9, 2012 at 10:35 am #

      I agree with that completely. It binds us together in a world where we seem so far apart. I’ve enjoyed reading blogs as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. And it’s nice to know there are people as weird as I am out there 🙂

  5. The Adventures of Twins April 9, 2012 at 9:55 am #

    Wow – 200! Congrats to you! We’re only on our 75th post…hope to keep it up. Thanks for the inspiration 🙂

    • Cold Dead Heart April 9, 2012 at 10:32 am #

      Thanks so much! And congrats to you on 75! Keep blogging…I’ll be reading!

  6. morezennow April 9, 2012 at 10:03 am #

    I always wondered about your blog name. It didn’t seem to exactly fit your posts which are anything but cold and dead but full of your Scorpio passionate heart! This explains everything. Thank you for the answers! And congrats on your 200th post. I look forward to seeing 201 through infinity!

    • morezennow April 9, 2012 at 10:07 am #

      Oops…I mean 200 and two?three? You know what I mean!

  7. getoveryourselfnkm April 9, 2012 at 11:27 am #

    I sent your SIsters’ Blog to my sister who is 11 years older than I am. Put a note that our ages were reversed, but wanted to share it with her. She immediately called me and said it worked for her and she felt the same way as you did. Thanks from both of us.

    • Cold Dead Heart April 9, 2012 at 11:37 am #

      That’s really sweet! Thank you! I’m glad you share what my sister and I do. We don’t often sit down and talk about what we mean to each other. But in reality, we’re the other half of each other. Being her sister has
      made me the person I am. I’d like to think I helped shape the person she is..for better or worse..lol.

  8. robertvarga79 April 9, 2012 at 12:40 pm #

    Beautiful, congrats!!!

    The Warm Hearted!

    • Cold Dead Heart April 9, 2012 at 1:59 pm #

      Thanks so much! Now I just have to keep it up.

      • robertvarga79 April 9, 2012 at 2:14 pm #

        Yes, you have to! 🙂

        Lately i also faced with some extreme statistics on 4 sites of me, fantastic.

  9. The Blissful Adventurer April 9, 2012 at 12:47 pm #

    congrats! You have a great blog and you are also a very supportive reader as well as a detailed blogger. I am glad you are doing this

  10. incidentallearner April 9, 2012 at 1:05 pm #

    Thank you for sharing so much with us and…raise the roof for your 200th plus post!!!!

  11. Neville DeAngelou April 9, 2012 at 2:15 pm #

    Congrats. Your blog is a wonderful find. I had wondered why ‘really’ the name. Waiting eagerly for the next!

    • Cold Dead Heart April 9, 2012 at 2:16 pm #

      Thanks so much! I’m enjoying your blog too. Here’s to more swapping stories.

  12. Aina Balagtas April 9, 2012 at 3:08 pm #

    Keep your passion, and be proud of your craft! You are blessed with the talent, so keep it up! More power!

  13. marviiilous April 9, 2012 at 8:11 pm #

    congrats! i am waiting for your other 200 posts 🙂

  14. Perfecting Motherhood April 10, 2012 at 1:15 am #

    Congratulations on your 200 posts! It’s not a small feat to put yourself out there and type words away that complete strangers may stumble upon. I was a little wary about the blogosphere when I started but I meant many great people along the way. Congrats again, and to 200 more!

    • Cold Dead Heart April 10, 2012 at 5:51 am #

      It really is a weird thing we do, putting it out there for the world to judge. But then we meet great people and great blogs like yours 🙂

      • Perfecting Motherhood April 10, 2012 at 7:31 pm #

        Thank you! I’m looking forward to knowing you more through your blog.

  15. maggsworld April 10, 2012 at 1:35 am #

    What I appreciate most about you is your authenticity. You are trully and honestly wholy yourself. And I see immense and powerful beauty there.

    • Cold Dead Heart April 10, 2012 at 5:52 am #

      Thank you so much. Here’s to being ourselves.

      • maggsworld April 10, 2012 at 6:14 am #

        Cheers!!!! I know it is the hardest thing to do but the only thing that satisfies…

  16. The Mouse April 10, 2012 at 3:40 am #


  17. The Wanderlust Gene April 11, 2012 at 5:10 am #

    200! Congratulations.

    • Cold Dead Heart April 11, 2012 at 5:56 am #

      Thanks so much..now I just have to keep it up 🙂

      • The Wanderlust Gene April 11, 2012 at 6:31 am #

        It’s quite an achievement, I’ll bet you don’t need much motivation … By the hundreds perhaps?

      • Cold Dead Heart April 11, 2012 at 6:20 pm #

        lol..yes, that’s my goal..onward to 300!

      • The Wanderlust Gene April 11, 2012 at 9:53 pm #


  18. redjim99 April 12, 2012 at 5:52 pm #

    A very honest capture of yourself, an interesting life.

    Take care,


    • Cold Dead Heart April 12, 2012 at 9:02 pm #

      Thank you very much…and here’s to more interesting things.

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