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Hodge Podgery

9 Jul

My synapses have been on overtime lately.  I’m a whirling dervish of energy and excitement.  I’d like to blame it on my giving up gluten and potatoes (I know I know..nothing to live for), but there’s something brewing in the inner regions of my psyche that have been dormant for so long.  Truth is I feel so much more me lately.  I keep thinking I’m as me as I’ll ever be, but then there’s another layer I had forgotten I locked away in a closet.

I did give up gluten, which has meant more time in the kitchen cooking delicious items.  Look at those gluten free pizzas with mushrooms and carmelized onions.  So delicious too.

“I get lost in my mind..lost in my mind….lost…I get lost…loooooooooosssssssssst.”  Pardon me while I sing along to Head and the Heart singing Lost in My Mind.

I’m also addicted to upcycling and repurposing.  My kiddo said this is how all hoarders start out.  She may have a point, except I’m not one for things lying about.  Except as I glance over at my art table it’s covered in paint, sea glass, canvases and my coffee mug with a naked woman with swinging breasts.  Don’t believe me?  Here’s a picture.  Genius.

Maybe physically feel better and it’s rewiring my mental.  I haven’t been feeling out of sorts, but lately I feel downright childlike.  I have a wonderment and such an appetite for life.  Maybe I’m replacing my bread and potatoes hunger for another.  A hunger to live as if there is a tomorrow of promise.

Now listen to this song….I think you’ll feel the way I do:

I’d love to feel
Your hand touching mine
And tell me why
I must keep working on

Yes I’d give my life
To lay my head tonight on a bed
Of California stars

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I’m Winging it in the Rain

18 Jun

I had forgotten one of the benefits of living more South than North is summer storms.  Yesterday, with the sun out, the thunder rolled in and the sky opened and rain fell in a torrential downpour.  Rather than take shelter inside, I walked along the field, feeling the warm rain on my face and felt cleansed from the inside out.  I have learned in the years that have passed me by that it really is the simple things that make me happy.

I think about the scars of a life lived that no longer define me.  They are simply a conversation piece of who I’ve been.  Who I am is much more complicated and less defined than the marks of what has come before.  I’m an evolving being, adapting to the landscape that is sometimes more foreign than a strange planet.  I did not think my journey would lead me here, but I like the scenery.

So, I’m happy.  It took me a while to get here.  I still fret over the superficial things, but I don’t dwell on them.  I’ve become brave in my attempts to maximize what life I do have stretched out before me.  I take chances on things that in the past would have frightened me.  It’s a cliché to say with age comes wisdom, although I don’t always feel smarter.  I just know better.

Which means I’ll walk leisurely in the rain and smile.  I will consider that a moment of pure joy.  I like to collect those moments like beads.  I’ll bring them out like a prayer mala when the harshness of life reminds me that it isn’t all rain in the sunshine.

Pretty profound for a Monday morning, but I’m on my second cup of coffee.  Caffeine makes me introspective and apparently quite deep.  At least in my addled mind.

Mieze’s Musings # 7

11 Mar

Cats can be finicky sometimes

We pretend we don’t need anyone

We ignore you for days then suddenly want stroking

We walk with an air of uncaring

I’ll give you that we’re not as loving as dogs

But when we brush against you

When we decide we want to be with you

You know we really mean it

Because it’s against our nature

We know it takes patience

But we hope you think it’s worth it

Higgs Boson alert

8 Mar

So I’m feeling a little anti-climatic about the Higgs Boson.  I’m on high google alert (code red of course) for the confirmation that this elusive “God particle” exists.  There are hints, there are murmurs and there are numerous emails alerting me to this fact.  I am pins and needles sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for someone, anyone, to say “yes we have found it.”  This spec of dust that begat everything, all the stars and the universe and the very matter that makes us what we are.  Of course, this is just proof that Einstein was right.  E=MC squared (couldn’t find a little 2 to put up there).  From nothing, something can come.  From energy, matter can be made.  This Higgs Boson particle is the existence of the nothing that made the big bang.  

I don’t pretend to know what I’m talking about or even what they’re talking about.  I have forever been fascinated by space and the realm of possibility that there are otherworldly things of which I know nothing.  I cannot even comprehend string theory.  Look it up if you dare.  But what I do enjoy is the search, that desire to dissect and understand our very existence.  I’m not a religious person, but I do believe in things beyond the universe I can see.

So, what happens after Higgs Boson?  Michio Kaku believes we will then look for dark matter.  That invisible net that binds the planets and the stars together.  We are hurtling toward nothingness, but what does it matter anyway?  We only have this brief period of time here.  Then what?  I’m not sure.  I’d like to believe in another universe, in another time, I will be me just smarter.  I won’t return that phone call, I won’t go on that date, but I will still end up where I am.  Content in what I am contributing to the universe.  Content in the love that surrounds me like an invisible dark matter binding my soul and my heart.

So after the Higgs Boson discovery, I will be excited for the next thing and the thing after.  Because I want to know. I want to believe this all means something.

Ode to Meeko – Guest Contributor – Natalie Johnson

5 Mar

(Sing to Little Teapot)

I’m a little Meeko short and stout.

Here is my tail and here is my snout.

When I hafta pee,

you’ll hear me pout.

Put – my leash on and

let

me

out.

What I’m thinking about…..

2 Mar

1.  My electricity went off the other night for a few hours.  I realized I’m not completely comfortable with the lack of sound of electronic hums.  I tried to listen to my Ipod, but it just reminded me how dark and quiet it really was.  The lights came on around one in the morning and I immediately fired up my computer so I could be lulled to sleep by something, anything, that was on Netflix.  It’s not so much I can’t be alone with my thoughts.  It’s just nice to have a background noise to them.

2.  Today we are under severe weather warning.  Which, if you’re from the South, you know it means tornadoes.  Logically I’m not afraid of having to live through another one again.  Instead, I’m just weary of the worry it all brings.  This is repayment for the lack of winter this year.

3.  I finished a book of a certain genre that I have been lax about getting published.  It’s just that mentally I decided not to publish in that genre anymore and it’s like I’ve already said goodbye.  But it’s a shame to have something completed and not see it to the end.  I promised myself I would do something with it this year.  I just haven’t had the inspiration to do it.  Maybe soon.

4.  The coffee I bought with shots of fake caramel flavor just doesn’t taste as good as I hoped for.

5.  I’m eating Indian food for lunch.  Seems decadent.

6.  My daughter offered to make me breakfast this morning.  It still makes me sniffle that she does.

7.  I haven’t written a poem in a while.  I really should.  I’ll give it some thought.

There’re more things on my mind today, but a girl has to keep some secrets.

Stop looking back…there’s only forward

29 Feb

Just because it makes me smile

28 Feb

MUSIC MONDAYS – ANTHONY AND THE JOHNSONS

27 Feb

I can’t believe there was a time when I didn’t know about Anthony and the Johnsons.  The lead singer, Anthony, is an enigma with a voice even Adele would envy.  His falsetto trill and profound lyrics will lull you to whatever world he hails from.  My favorite song is Hope There’s Someone, a plaintiff love song that usurps every song that came before by singing it raw and plainly, “I hope there’s someone who’ll take care of me, when I die, will I go.”  Which to me starkly resonates the will of us all, we just hope there’s someone who will take care of us.  

I prefer their live recordings, because you never know what you will witness.  It doesn’t matter what version, I love Cripple and the Starfish.  It is a song not meant to be as beautiful as it sounds.  And we’ve all been there when we’re happy in a relationship, when it’s as healthy as it could be, yet we’re waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop and began questioning whether we deserve such happiness.  Just listen to the lyrics, “I am very happy, so please hit me…I am very happy, so please hurt me.”

I could wax poetic about my next favorite song, but you simply must just listen.  Rapture is the kind of song that makes you ache, not just because of the lyrics but the emotion the melody evokes.  It’s about the end of it.  That painful breakup, that saying goodbye to someone you love.  The falling down of everything you’ve known.  Reaching out toward…what?

Some other notables:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MDlMdu2gjw&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8V94WQjMAw&feature=related

 

 

Now go listen!

 

Michio Kaku

23 Feb

So last night I went to see a lecture by Michio Kaku.  I could bore you with his advanced theories of the universe and life itself, or I could just let you find him on your own.  Let me also take this moment to expose myself a true blue dork.  I love science.  A total geek.  Proudly flying my nerd flag.  I especially love space and physics even though I understand approximately 10% of it.  

I am a Higgs Boson groupie.  I love everything about it.  I watched the documentary “Atom Smashers”, not once, but three times.  I devour theories of life and the universe like some people do celebrity gossip.  These people, these brainiacs who wildly dream of what might be while awake, are my superstars (no pun intended).  They theorize about the beginnings of us all and dare to believe we can travel beyond what we know.  They don’t just ask why, they ask what if.  

Michio Kaku has been on numerous television shows and I’ve always been a fan.  It was like the Beatles were visiting, when I waited for the lecture to be over and for him to enter the small room where we sat for an off the cuff question and answer session.  If you’ve never heard him lecture, he’s funny and approachable and most of all brilliant.  He’s not just smart, he’s wicked “smaht.”  

It all makes sense when he talks.  He makes you question the world around you, the reality of what is.  His best analogy was of life itself being a bathtub filled with bubbles.  Our universe, the only one we know of, being one of millions of bubbles in the bath.  Who knows what lurks around us.  If there are mirror universes or parallel dopplegangers maybe someday our ancestors will know who they are.  Until then, we can dream of what might be and be reminded how really amazing it is we exist at all.

If you’re not familiar with Dr. Kaku’s work, then you must google him immediately.